If you had met me a few years ago, you might have noticed just how easily I gave my energy away. How quickly I showed up for others, how rarely I said no, and how instinctively I placed other people’s needs above my own.
At the time, I believed this was simply what it meant to be a good person.
And if I’m honest, I still care deeply about others, and I still show up. Supporting others is part of who I am, and I don’t think that will ever change, I don’t want it to either!
But something has changed….
I am now a little more discerning about where my energy goes. I’m more aware that the most meaningful connections are mutual, they’re nurtured, they’re appreciated, and filled with care that flows both ways.
I also now understand something else that I wish I’d known sooner, you can be kind and compassionate without disappearing from your own life.
Because kindness was never meant to require self-abandonment!
It’s taken me a very long time to realise this, and it’s something I still need to be incredibly mindful of.
Along the way I’ve also noticed how some of the very people I once showed up for without question… quietly faded away into the background. Not out of conflict, just with absence.
And while that previously would have once carried a lot of hurt, it now carries something else…
Clarity!
Because growth has helped to show me connections for what they truly are, and it’s shown me that not everyone is meant to walk beside us forever, some people are just simply chapters in our story, their not meant to be lifelong companions.
This understanding has grown even more in recent months, as I’ve found myself faced with health challenges, and as I’ve poured my heart and soul into trying to build something of my own.
You see there’s a certain level of faith needed when you’re trying to grow a business, as many of you will know, especially one that reflects who you truly are. You nurture it quietly, you believe in it long before it even becomes visible to anyone else, and you show up for it day after day.
And somewhere in that process, you also find yourself imagining that all of the people you have cared about and supported over the years might be there beside you, not out of obligation or expectation, but from a shared desire to support one another.
And sometimes they do…
but sometimes they don’t!
And I’m learning to be okay with that too.
External validation is lovely, but what really matters is how we see ourselves. So, every day I show up, and now… I show up for me too!
I try to grow.
I try to value myself more.
And I try to release the exhausting habit of always worrying what everyone else might think of me
Some days this is easy and some days not so much, it’s not always easy to undo so many years of doing.
Growth often asks for us to release many things, and the idea that everyone is meant to come with us is one of them, while that may feel difficult at first, there’s also a lot of peace in learning, that growing apart is not always a loss, sometimes it is simply life making space for who we are becoming.
Like so many, I’m still a work in progress.
With warmth, love and light,
Liz Xx